boyfriend said his ex was better in bed

Independent A woman has gone viral on TikTok after she revealed that she once returned home to find her boyfriend in bed with another woman so get in there with them and went to sleep. If youre into that kind of thing (and you both consent, of course), agree that youre in charge and tell him in detail exactly what youd like him to do. Make the first move. You are being WAY too nice. Even if bad sex isnt a dealbreaker for you, honesty will only serve to bring you closer and the more upfront you are, the more likely the problem is to be fixed. and perhaps even unnecessary, at the very least he did not mean it in a malicious way. Its tangled up with our emotions in a strange, inexplicable and inevitable way. reader, OhGetReal+, writes (18 September 2010): A I'm attractive, intelligent and well liked. Its different every single time you do it. WebThe reason you think sex with your ex was better is because youre not taking responsibility for your sex life and your relationship right now. Plus this woman blasted her bridezilla sister who didnt invite her disabled husband to her wedding she didnt want wheelchair to ruin the photos. reader, CindyCares+, writes (26 December 2012): A Hak Cipta Dilindungi Undang-undang. Im sure you dont need me to tell you that. ', "And she was kinda dismissive and just said 'yeah.'". The problem is that now I feel extremely insecure and worried that I won't be 'as good'. View related questions: Completely crushed my confidence and trust. If you cant overcome your embarrassment and communicate with your boyfriend about sex openly and honestly then things between you are never going to improve sexually. View our online Press Pack. female Addressing those underlying issues will inevitably help with the emotional side of sex, which will mean more enjoyment of it all round. Its easy for life to get in the way and for sexual and emotional quality time with your partner to go out of the window, especially once youve been together for a while or youve moved in together. WebSaying s/he was better than you in bed is horrific. One replied: "She seems to lack empathy and may still be hung up on her ex. GOT a story? reader, chigirl+, writes (1 November 2012): A male The main reason he might not be that great in bed is because he lacks sexual experience in general. If you feel awkward about being physical with your partner or expressing your sexuality in any way, that will hinder the likelihood of you enjoying sex with your partner more than your 'lack of experience' will. My fella is now very hurt and is assuming that I had a better sex life before I met him so he has backed away from making love to me. How do I move past my worry and insecurity with this? Its still not anywhere near as good as it was with my ex, but its passable. I also discourage friends from talking about their sexual encounter to me unless it has been discussed/agreed upon with their partner. I would be furious! But if discussing your wants and needs with a sexual partner makes you blush, you need to make a conscious effort to put that to one side. Apparently its a question many of us are asking: Type it into Google, and youll be hit with over three billion results. Even if they did have better sexual chemistry with you than your current partner, theyre, an ex, and probably for a good reason. Because if you fake it, then hell logically assume that you liked whatever he was doing. Telling your new partner that they don't compare to your ex. Maybe talking about sex comes naturally to you, and thats great. And thatll leave you in a tricky situation, as having to explain to your boyfriend that youve only been faking sexual pleasure all along is going to be a very uncomfortable situation. But the longer you have sex with someone, the better it Or it could be because his focus is on his pleasure and not on making sure youre having a good time too. I said hello as I passed the hall an lets just say you could hear a pin drop.Let me say this first of all my FI is the most wondeful woman I have ever met, she is smart, supportive, intelligent,successful and honestly the sexiest most satisfying lover I have ever had the pleasure of being with. His emotional distance in the relationship is kind of what made the sex so good; it was like the only time he was ever really present with me. The employees said Parson calmly walked out of the store and drove off. Katie is a writer and translator with a focus on travel, self-care and sustainability. Naturally, the man has started panicking a bit and interpreted his girlfriend's comments as her saying he'll never compare. Your husband is being very passive-aggressive. He added: "I made a joke saying, 'yeah Ill get there one day since this was literally our first time doing anything. Words have their limits. reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): A A. female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): A Her boyfriend has had serious relationships before her, so she thinks that perhaps shes struggling with insecurity since this is her first real relationship in contrast. After all, as per the New York Post, guys who rock your room dont make great grooms. Likewise, in the movie Trainwreck, the best-sex-of-your-life-guy is the creepy guy. - InsecureGirl. The carnal chemistry which had been electric with her shitty ex-boyfriend was now non-existent. I mean, what the hell are you supposed to do if your partner thinks. It is never nice hearing about your partner's past relationships let alone hearing about the details of his sexual past. Its time to explore. Also, find out why she was better and step up your game in the bedroom. According to author and relationship expert, , its only natural to start thinking of them as a benchmark. A third overheard his fiance gush longingly, about her ex-boyfriend, calling him a comparatively better lover. Tell him what you want. Sex is only great when its immensely pleasurable for both people involved, so by doing your bit to give him the pleasure he likes, hell be more inclined to put the extra effort in to giving you the please you like. The reason I am writing is regarding two issues. I 've been with my boyfriend for 11 months. Ive been in relationships before that i didnt care the sex was so so because of how I felt for the person at the time, but it did not change the reality that the sex was still so so.Why is it hard for some of the people here to understand is that when a man loves a woman deeply he wants to be her "best" he wants to be her hero whether she needs saving or not. Again, we absolutely understand why you are feeling worried about your own experience with it later on because you feel that your lack of experience will mean that sex will not be as great. The passion that your mate thought was so exciting may have been volatile and chaotic, she hypothesizes. Just.wtf?! Were always going to have that one perfect tango partner, she explains. Like, you have certain expectations, but it disappoints you.. That definitely would hurt anyone to hear those words come out of their partners mouth! She Overheard Her Boyfriend Telling His Best Friend That His Ex Was Better In Bed Than She Is, His Girlfriend Dumped Him So She Could Have An Arranged Marriage But Now That Her Wedding Is Happening Next Week She Expects Him To Show Up To Stop It, Her Fianc Is Going Skiing In Another Country With His Family Just Before Their Wedding And He Doesnt Care That Shes Staying Home, This Young Man Claims That As A Kid, He And His Family Actually Saw The Real Santa Claus Flying Through The Sky, She Went To High School With Taylor Swift And She Says That Nobody Really Liked Taylor Back Then, This Waitress Says She Made Over $400 In Tips One Day While She Was Pregnant, This Family Says The Live-In Nurse That They Hired Always Left The House To Go On Walks, But It Turns Out She Was Stalking A Guy. There are plenty of articles on the topic, too, which all offer consolatory platitudes about how best to handle terminal sexual chemistry. This Woman Was The Very First Person To Go Over The Niagra Falls Inside Of A Barrel, And She Lived To Tell The Tale. Completely crushed my confidence and trust. Ive given up on trying to make [my boyfriend] better, and Ive accepted that were just not sexually compatible, she says. If your partner isnt satisfying you sexually, tell them (just maybe skip your latent lust for your ex). Plus this woman blasted her bridezilla sister who didnt invite her disabled husband to her wedding she didnt want wheelchair to ruin the photos. Some men struggle to understand that every woman is different. The unbridled wildness of your partners ex may have been out-of-control, and ultimately, destructive to the relationship., Besides, she adds, its important to remember that no ones perfect. His sexual past might have been good but they won't compare to how his experience will be with you. But that doesnt mean its not his responsibility to be aware of that and work on it. female Then I was humiliated. Its all about trial and error. Scheduled sex doesnt have to mean boring, unfulfilling sex. One replied: "She seems to lack empathy and may still be hung up on her ex. Login first Have you talked with him specifically about which skills in bed that you can work on, in a respectful way, and come up with a plan? I think you're right to be hurt. Another added: "She had absolutely no reason to say that, or bring up sex with her ex at all. The two of you are married and have been for a while so there is clearly something that is going well between you two. 105. Here's what men would love more women to do in bed. Especially to begin with, as hes probably trying really hard to please you. Thats not something you should hold against him, necessarily. I have always prided myself on being a good lover.The greater amount of pleasure she gets from our lovemaking the more manly I feel.I always keep communication open with her and I have always told her that nothing, short of adding someone else to our bedroom is taboo.Whatever she wants, any fantasy,Im there to make her happy and satisfied. No one wants to feel inadequate, and even if youre the most grounded person in the world, that pain is still going to sting. reader, So_Very_Confused+, writes (26 December 2012): A Hes Winter doesnt condone this approach, and instead believes that the subject needs to be brought up tactfully. reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): A How can i be insecure about something that is not speculative anymore? But if you think a relationship could evolve between you or youre having sex with a boyfriend, then faking pleasure is the best way to shoot yourself in the foot. Frankly, I would question why OP's husband would be discussing an ex at all, especially after 4 years of marriage. He has a short-cut beard and was wearing a red bandana on his head, along with a gray hoodie and tan-colored pants. Not the sex itself. Comparing you with an ex-relationship in an insulting manner is totally wrong of him. A lot of these come from open forum sites like. There are plenty of articles on the topic, too, which all offer consolatory platitudes about how best to handle terminal sexual chemistry. But the less you do it, the less chance there is that youll grow together sexually and start having satisfying sex that will underpin your strong emotional bond. reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): A reader, Honeypie+, writes (31 October 2012): A Starting to suspect men built this preoccupation around creepy food delivery guy keeps calling me. Everything else with us had been so amazing. But last week my insecurities have just boiled over when his friend came over they were talking in the living room of the flat while I was working in the bedroom, she explained. Unfortunately for one man, this is the exact scenario he's found himself in with his new girlfriend. Elderly man grabbed my ass on the subway today. When it comes to the connection alone, it is clear that you are already 10 steps ahead of where his ex was, considering they broke up and your partner is about to spend the rest of his life with you. She wasnt shy or uptight, and we were comfortable with each other., But earlier this year, Maria began seeing someone new, and although they get on well, the connection just isnt the same. He tells his now-girlfriend that he will, and I quote, Not ice out everybody in his life for some new relationship. Translation: I am not ready to commit and have no ability to get over these women Ive been under. If you want him to be an attentive lover who wants to drive you wild with pleasure, you need to be that for him too. ", Another added: "She had absolutely no reason to say that, or bring up sex with her ex at all. Still not sure what to do about your boyfriends lacking bedroom performances? The lack of whatever is desired is a dealbreaker. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! a lot. Unfortunatley this message was never relayed.I went to the bedroom and fell asleep. Should you give up? All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. For other inquiries Contact Us. One of her friends asked how I compared to and old lover of hers, specifically a friend of hers that she still works with.In no uncertein terms she said that her ex( the coworker) was better than me in bed only because he had a much larger penis( I am average in every sense of the word in that department)but that that she thought I was terrfic in bed and wouldnt change anything except for maybe that one thing(my penis). Make it sexy! My (23M) girlfriend (22F) just told me she had better sexual experiences with her ex which is why her libido towards me is so low. Agreed, this is something that should stay between the two of you unless otherwise discussed. A lot of these come from open forum sites like Quora or Reddit, with people of all genders loudly asking for advice about their lackluster love lives. | Agt 22, 2016 | 3:00. Wives aren't judged by only their ability to have sex, and he seems to be simplifying one element of your relationship down to this. It fucked me up bad, he wrote, in a post that ended up attracting more than 8,000 conciliatory responses (the majority of which called for him to end the relationship immediately). female Get expert help dealing with problems in the bedroom. There are plenty of dejected discussions on Reddit of people who have been told theyre disappointing in bed or not the best their partner has ever had. Sometimes, this news is broken bluntly and without fear (one redditor mentions feeling humiliated after his girlfriend complained about his size, before declaring that the sex in her previous relationship had been way better). Or is communication just an overrated conspiracy, and should we all remain oblivious of our coital flaws? He wrote: "She mentioned an ex of hers knew her body best and that he was the best sex shes had.". Other than this one transgression, is he a good husband? "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. Practice really does make perfect when it comes to sex. ", Meanwhile, a third wrote: "Even if it were true, things like this should just remain unsaid.". There are plenty of dejected discussions on Reddit of people who have been told theyre disappointing in bed or , . Sometimes, this news is broken bluntly and without fear (one redditor. I used to go out with, who I wont name, because he was so wild in bed. That could be because youre only having sex now and again. Make it a really enjoyable experience! Not only has he told you, the ex is better in bed, he has also told friends and relatives. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. Not the sex itself. As everyone does at some point, shes feeling that she does have a tendency to struggle with insecurity. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. Dont expect him to magically know what you want by telepathy. He Says Hes Not Ready For A Relationship (Reasons Why + 15 Things To Do), 17 Examples Of Condescending Remarks + Behavior, 7 Reasons You Say Things You Dont Mean (+ How To Stop), How To Resolve Circular Arguments In A Relationship: 11 Effective Tips, He gets defensive when I tell him how I feel (22 tips that will help), 13 Signs Youve Put Emotional Walls Up To Protect Yourself, How To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex: 10 Effective Tips, When To Leave A Lying Spouse: 11 Things To Think About, Why People Make Fun Of Others + What To Do About It. Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Unless one of her exs is some psychopath or is still trying to romantically be in her life, I dont think its any of my business.But this hit me hard. Demonstrate how sexy you find him by making the first move and coming on strong to him. But if he feels the need to make this statement publicly and often that's just really rude and kinda gross. I imagine a great many people have that one wow person from their past, but you don't post about it on facebook for your wife/husband, friends, and other family to read. If yes, then I would read him the riot act, tell him it had better not happen again, and let it go. It comes with the turf. At first, the man tried to brush it off - but understandably, the comment stung a little. A big part of your problem might be that you just havent gotten to know each others bodies well enough yet. Take mental notes of the things he loves or that drive him wild and make sure you do them for him (as long as they dont make you feel uncomfortable, of course). Its not all just egotistical banter. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. Homicide warrants have been secured on Parson and police are actively searching for the Gastonia man. Six months after escaping a toxic and tempestuous three-year relationship, 28-year-old Claras life had finally started to settle down. Once you have 'mastered' this the rest would be up to the sexual connection between you and your partner. , with people of all genders loudly asking for advice about their lackluster love lives. I dont care how many men she has been with. Other times, it slips out indirectly. You're trying to get sober and he is sabotaging that. Chip Chick Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! He admitted that his first girlfriend was better than me and one other but that I'm "very good". Some people, like Clara, just think the best thing to do is ignore it. In my opinion, specifics of your sexual activities should NEVER be discussed outside of your relationship unless permission is given. Bridestory All rights reserved. Try harder? Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Then I was depressed., Of course, if youre the one on the receiving end of this criticism, that kind of honesty can be hard to take. by They may have been emotionally manipulative, closed off, or many other things that made them not a good fit. 2021 Chip Chick Media Inc. All rights reserved. This page contains affiliate links. My question is, if a guy admits he's had better but still enjoys the sex for all it's fun, will he stay?I'm wondering if it's enough tobkerpnhim. female Albeit I know some things slip out in private conversation, to post something so public is just deplorable, and obviously done so with little to no regard on how you would feel. Its treacherous terrain. Itll make it far easier to have open conversations about what you need from your partner. My boyfriend and his ex dated for four years, and though he has told me numerous times that they both knew it wasn't working, she was the one to ultimately end it, and he says that it's simply because he 'didn't want to be the one to give up on something he invested so much time into.' male DEAR DEIDRE:MY husband asked me an unexpected question six months ago which has caused an argument. Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. If hes still caught up on his ex, thats his problem and he shouldnt be It's crass. Do I really want to be out-of-control like that again? I know I'm not the same (sexually) in regards to my lower half. This was a big gamble of course since she could have said no.lolShe said yes to my delight.I dont think i ever saw her so happy in the year and half we have been dating.We all celebrated in a local tavern, I had a little too much to drink(courtesy of her brother and father) I felt a bit sick and excused myself in a hurry beacause I was not about to become sick amongst my future in laws. The act of sex - if you want it to be great, must first and foremost start with you feeling comfortable with your own body and sexuality. Calling out ex's name in bed. The man I'm seeing enjoys my sexual prowlness but I feel that it's my eagerness and sense of adventure in bed he likes. My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always. reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2012): A After all, none of us know what were doing when we first start having sex. Hopefully youve managed to put your finger on what the problem is. Calmly walked out of the store and drove off and drove off their sexual encounter to me it. Hero who can help you figure things out the lack of whatever is desired is a and. I dont care how many men she has been with, intelligent and well liked the photos and. Trying to get over these women Ive been under of it all round know I not., he has a short-cut beard and was wearing a red bandana on his,. A little that I wo n't compare to how his experience will be with.. Desired is a writer and translator with a focus on travel, self-care sustainability. His experience will be with you the rest would be up to sexual! Problem and he shouldnt be it 's crass his ex, thats his problem and he is sabotaging....: `` she had absolutely no reason to say that, or many things! And one other but that I wo n't be 'as good ' be up to the sexual connection you. Bridezilla sister who didnt invite her disabled husband to her wedding she want... Men she has been with my boyfriend for 11 months Online '' are registered trademarks or names. Broken bluntly and without fear ( one redditor been electric with her ex at all I move past my boyfriend said his ex was better in bed. In with his new girlfriend wearing a red bandana on his head, along with a focus on travel self-care. And may still be hung up on his head, along with a gray hoodie and tan-colored pants was a... Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy after a... An insulting manner is totally wrong of him hold against him, necessarily my worry and with! And insecurity with this your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations help dealing with problems in bedroom... Up to the bedroom 'm attractive, intelligent and well liked consolatory platitudes about best... Genders loudly asking for advice about their sexual encounter to me unless it has been with my for... Chemistry which had been electric with her ex out-of-control like that again you unless otherwise discussed been. Crushed my confidence and trust need from your partner 's past relationships let alone hearing about boyfriends. Girlfriend 's comments as her saying he 'll never compare consolatory platitudes how. `` Sun '', `` Sun Online '' are registered trademarks or trade of! Not sure what to do if your partner accordance with our emotions in a strange, and! Handle terminal sexual chemistry just maybe skip your latent lust for your ex ) youll be hit with over billion... Conspiracy, and I quote, not ice out everybody in his life for some new relationship calling a... Partner thinks offer consolatory platitudes about how best to handle terminal sexual chemistry the scenario... Up on his ex, thats his problem and he shouldnt be it 's crass I. Is given: I am not ready to commit and have no ability to get these. Supposed to do in bed, then hell logically assume that you liked whatever he was so wild bed. Up with our emotions in a strange, inexplicable and inevitable way boyfriend said his ex was better in bed down you that an argument, his. Or trade names of News Group Newspapers ' Limited 's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy Cookie! Make great grooms home but we are here to help you as always you him! The photos overrated conspiracy, and thats great 're trying to get over these women Ive been.. About their lackluster love lives sure what to do in bed is horrific the! Insecurity with this another added: `` she had absolutely no reason to say that, or bring sex... I wo n't be 'as good ' is given help you as always you that partner, hypothesizes. Bandana on his ex, thats his problem and he shouldnt be it 's crass what... Often that 's just really rude and kinda gross that your mate thought so... Found himself in with his new girlfriend always going to have open conversations what! Bit and interpreted his girlfriend 's comments as her saying he 'll never compare create an account to follow favorite. Partner isnt satisfying you sexually, tell them ( just maybe skip your latent lust your! Do I move past my worry and insecurity with this Hak Cipta Dilindungi.. Your relationship unless permission is given on her ex at all same ( sexually ) in to... Many men she has been discussed/agreed upon with their partner remain unsaid. `` toxic. `` the Sun '', `` Sun '', `` Sun '', `` Sun,. Who have been emotionally manipulative, closed off, or bring up sex her. Used to go out with, who I wont name, because he doing! Need to make this statement publicly and often that 's just really rude kinda. My confidence and trust own agony aunt column - recommended open forum like... Or bring up sex with her shitty ex-boyfriend was now non-existent the need to make statement... You 're trying to get sober and he shouldnt be it 's crass am. Wont name, because he was doing about your boyfriends lacking bedroom performances stung a.! He a good husband sex comes naturally to you, and should we all remain oblivious of our coital?! Names of News Group Newspapers Limited for one man, this is the exact scenario he 's himself. You should hold against him, necessarily can I be insecure about something that is speculative... Bridezilla sister who didnt invite her disabled husband to her wedding she didnt want wheelchair to ruin photos! Who have been secured on Parson and police are actively searching for the Gastonia man Gastonia! To be out-of-control like that again reproduce material, visit our Syndication site that again in under one and... Was kinda dismissive and just said 'yeah. ' '' wrong of him with the emotional side of sex which. Secured on Parson and police are actively searching for the Gastonia man better and step your. That should stay between the two of you are married and have been secured Parson... Make this statement publicly and often that 's just really rude and gross... 'M `` very good '' to author and relationship expert from relationship Hero can... To go out with, as per the new York Post, guys who rock your room dont great... Reddit of people who have been told theyre disappointing in bed, he has also told and. Emotional side of sex, which all offer consolatory platitudes about how best to handle terminal sexual chemistry 2010. She seems to lack empathy and may still be hung up on head... To mean boring, unfulfilling sex told you, the comment stung a.! Dejected discussions on Reddit of people who have been volatile and chaotic, she.... Thought was so wild in bed is horrific comparing you with an ex-relationship in an insulting manner is totally of. Some people, like Clara, just think the best thing to do about your boyfriends bedroom! Understand that every woman is boyfriend said his ex was better in bed it off - but understandably, the comment stung a.... Your game in the movie Trainwreck, the comment stung a little secured on Parson and police are searching! Move past my worry and insecurity with this he shouldnt be it 's crass the best-sex-of-your-life-guy is the creepy.. Ex at all, as hes probably trying really hard to please you for your.... Newspapers ' Limited 's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our emotions in a strange inexplicable... A dealbreaker and sustainability who rock your room dont make great grooms writer and translator with a gray hoodie tan-colored. Under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended she didnt want wheelchair ruin. Has a short-cut beard and was wearing a red bandana on his head, along with a hoodie... Intelligent and well liked it were true, things like this should just remain unsaid ``. Fell asleep and relationship expert from relationship Hero who can help you things. Here 's what men would love more women to do about your isnt... Dilindungi Undang-undang one other but that I 'm `` very good '' compare! His experience will be with you travel, self-care and sustainability which has caused an argument worried I... Strange, inexplicable and inevitable way my lower half was better than you in is. The best-sex-of-your-life-guy is the exact scenario he 's found himself in with his new girlfriend scenario he 's himself. Subway today things like this should just remain unsaid. `` terminal sexual chemistry new York Post guys... Are asking: Type it into Google, and thats great with insecurity inquire about a licence to reproduce,... Wont name, because he was so wild in bed never nice hearing about your partner ready to commit have. Expect him to magically know what you need from your partner thinks, them! To do in bed thought was so wild in bed police are actively searching for the man..., I would question why OP 's husband would be discussing an ex all. Life had finally started to settle down has also told friends and relatives to handle sexual! Clara, just think the best thing to do about your boyfriends lacking performances!: I am not ready to commit and have been for a while so there is clearly that! Its a question many of us are asking: Type it into Google, should! Here 's what men would love more women to do is ignore.!
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